'STAY THIRSTY MY FRIENDS'

Today is March 25^th–dare I say that time of year when winter has cordially decided to rest its wrath. My hope is that I haven’t spoke to soon and the frigidness is all behind us. Assuming this to be true, April is just around the corner and spring is finally in the air.

Before I begin, one must understand I’m no statistician. Truth be told, I haven’t anything against numbers, but even still, long division is about where my brain begins to stumble over equations. That said I’m still fairly certain a correlation exists between springtime, booze and police blotters. Something about blooming flowers and greater daylight gives students that extra momentum to hit the town on a Monday…Tuesday…or really any of the five days remaining. Further, something about the warmer weather gives students a reason to stammer half-clothed at bar close inevitably ending them in the police department’s possession (Thankfully, the inspiration for the previous sentence was merely a stranger and not a close friend or even acquaintance).

Case in point, spring helps remind many of us to again see the beauty in the life of a college student. Now that midterms, blizzards and Valentine’s Day are all behind us, we have nothing but cool breezes and sunnier times ahead. With a cornucopia of beer gardens and an even greater assortment or drink specials at almost any decent hour, Iowa City retains its mark as a noble contender for best college towns around. So go ahead kids, take advantage of the many jewels that go hand-in-hand with college life–an extra night on the town or even a day of ‘bags’ with the neighbors. Whatever your desire, remember spring only rolls around every so often. Get outside, have a ‘cheers’ and always remember to keep your coozy within reach.

Dueling Piano-Singluar?

I was more then ecstatic when I got an inbox about dueling pianos at Vito's on the Thursday we got back from Spring Break. What a perfect motivation to get through the week? My group of friends and I learned out lesson and attempted to get there early enough to enjoy it for a while before it got too mobbed. We arrived around 10ish, which in our case is extremely early to head downtown. Our early entrance made no difference, it was a mob scene. And to my dismay, THERE WAS ONLY ONE PIANO. How devastating.

I would of rather just listened to the radio really loud then this guy singing karaoke and smashing the piano keys. It was cheesy and cliche. Think of 5 songs you'd assume to hear at a karaoke bar...yeah he played those, all five. Jesse's Girl? Sweet Caroline?Don't Stop Believing? I could go on.

I was pretty bummed, and not to mention the service...sucked? You stand there waving big bills just to get any bartenders attention, then secretly trade your 20 for a 5 obviously. The shots were measly and small, and of course the bartenders secretly trick you into ordering the expensive beer instead of the one that is the $1.50 special. When I ask for a beer, I clearly mean I want the cheap one unless I say otherwise? You'd think? Not them though.

There were also cops grabbing groups of people left and right, thats always suspenseful. I don't see myself attending next months 'Dueling Piano' unless he finds someone to battle of course, oh and that new piano man fires the first guy and brings someone new.

pints, lots of pints

I proudly expanded my horizons this weekend and gave Pints and run for its money. I was pleasantly surprised. It was mobbed, which is understandable with all the NCAA bball games on and all, but it wasn't crowded? If that makes sense? I didn't feel like I was getting pushed and run in to every 30 seconds. I enjoyed the atmosphere, and considering it was a Friday/Saturday night, the prices were very reasonable. The beers were 3 bucks on friday night, which again, considering the circumstances I thought was pretty decent. They were very well staffed, and it wasn't like at certain places where you order a drink from the cocktail waitress and she either A. never comes back B. messes it up or C. takes 3 hours--the services was very quick and accurate (which never hurts).

Not like the drunken slobs notice when they get a coors instead of a bud light, but still, a little accuracy never hurts. They had the perfect number of bartenders on so you weren't standing there waving your money for 20 minutes. Then of course who can forget the complimentary popcorn....BOMB. It was delicious and they had that machine constantly brewing.

All in all, I will be going back and so should you.

comparable

I spent my Spring Break in Jacksonville, Florida. Not your typical college student vacation spot, yet it didn't disappoint. Besides the fact we were staying in a NFL players condo on the water, we had plenty of pointers on the hot spots. The first night typically your too warn out from traveling to go out--not us. We jumped in a cab and went to the beach area where the street resembled downtown Iowa City.

There was no Marco's Grill Cheese or Pancheros, but there was a ghetto icecream place and bars, lots and lots of bars. It was a Saturday night so the lines (just like IC), were down the block. We just randomly picked one and got in just as you would in Iowa city (showed some strange ID that works as long as you have the same hair color). The bouncer joked about us being from chicago, and let us right in. We all joked back and forth about how everyone was over exaggerating in regards to the ID situation being tough.

We got a little cocky and proceeded to follow the crowd to the bar around the block. Little did we know it was notoriously the hardest bar in Jacksonville to get in. We got denied. Every one of us. And yeah we had no other choice but to stay classy and...sprint away? And get in a cab immediately?

The tiny lapse of judgement very well could have single handely turned our trip into the vacation from hell, BUT, it didn't. We resorted to the 19+ bars which were shockingly comparable if not better than Iowa city? Not gonna lie, the workers were much stricter than those at say, summit, union, anywhere? They would literally color on your hand with an inch thick permanent marker and then circle around snatching drinks left and right. Neither of those things at all typical of an Iowa city bar employee.

Regardless, a lot of them had sweet outdoor patios with live music that was a lot more elaborate than any piano skit I've seen. The drinks were a lot cheaper, and the specials, well, they had specials? Yes, even on a saturday? whatttt?!

We ended strong with College Night at a bar that was typically a 21 bar. Whoever created that bar was a genious because they made it so it appealed to everyone. It was basically cut right in the middle, half was a tiki kind of bar that was really chill, and half was like a raging dance party. More or less a Summit meets a hippy style DC's on a chill Wednesday night. It was fantastic. As was my spring break.

I used to consider myself a regular at DC's FAC--until a few nights ended a little on the early side and I decided to stick with waiting until its dark to go out. But, when I do go to FAC, I go to DC's. It always ends up being a safe choice if you want to avoid huge mobs and the constant voice from behind you nudging you in the back to move so they can slide past. Of course the one weekend my entire group of friends gets it together and makes it out the door by 5:30pm sharp...it's an absolute mob scene.

Typically we head straight up the stairs and hangout up there, but we spotted a table in the far left hand corner of the bar. At first seemed to good to be true with amongst a mob of that size but once we got to it we realized a mega sized speaker was blasting music directly down onto the table to the point a scream would not even get the attention of the person directly next to you. All was right in the world when the cocktail waitress delivered our first round of $3 Steins of beer / Fishbowls of mixed drinks which were phenomenal.

Not only is it a ridiculously good deal, but the service despite the mobs was oddly prompt and accurate. We sat in silence (despite the blaring of strange boy -band emo music i.e. fall out boy, in our ears), without talking just because that wasn't an option, and people watched while downing our over-size icy beverages.

The night proceed a block down at Spo-Co, which also sported a ridiculously good Friday night deal. They had huge $3 mixed drinks in some sort of jar type glass. Spo-co managed the crown much more efficiently than DC's, and topped their emo jam's as well.

Next friday stop #1 = spo co.

A "NOT SO GENTLE-MAN" NAMED STEVE

A few words of wisdom for any of you bar-going enthusiasts–consider this post fair warning for anyone interested in exploring Iowa City’s nightlife outside of the usual downtown strip.

If you ever happen to amble on over to The Vine (On the corner of Gilbert and Prentiss) and an aged, grizzly-like man named Steve introduces himself and proceeds to invite you to a game of pool, shake his hand, smile and then politely decline. Whatever you do, do not accept his offer. And whatever you do, absolutely positively never-in-a-million-billion years mention Steve’s jacket.

The story I’m about to convey is loosely based on real-life events. I say loosely because I had been drinking since 3PM, and it wasn’t until sometime after 10PM that it all hit the fan. So while I’m fairly confident all that I’m saying is accurate, I wouldn’t make any wagers regarding this story’s correctness.

After approximately four games of gentlemen-friendly pool (all of which Steve gracefully lost), Steve decided it was time to salvage any dignity he was able to keep from the table and exit for the evening. Before his exit, Steve went over to his regular bar stool to pick up and put on his cool suede jacket. To Steve’s alarm, the jacket was not anywhere in sight. So what does Steve do you ask? Well, let’s think about what any normal, rational-minded, sober person would do if confronted with this sort of dilemma.

I for one, would first ask myself, did I happen to put my jacket on another stool? Or perhaps I left it at the bar where I had first sat down? If the jacket weren’t to turn up in either of these areas, perhaps it would be best to ask around? After all, a lot of people visited the bar–99% of them having all brought coats. Possibly, someone mistook “my cool, suede, dated, depleted jacket” for their “cool, suede, dated, depleted jacket”!

So now let’s take a poll. How many of you think Steve tried out any of these logical next steps? Probably to no one’s surprise, Steve did not do any of these. Instead, Steve stormed over to my good buddy Jon, kicked over a stool (having spilled an entire beer in route) and, without any sympathy, threatened every precious inch of Jon’s manhood if the jacket weren’t to be found immediately. Thankfully, Jon wasn’t alone, shackled in a basement with Steve and rather in a public, well-lit restaurant with plenty of witnesses. That said–Steve managed to calm himself when a normal, rational-minded, sober person found his jacket and offered it up in exchange for Jon’s precious future for a family. Where was the jacket you ask? Well, sure enough, the jacket was left at the bar where Steve had first sat down.

Despite the madness that “I think” actually ensued, we all left the bar without even a scratch. So long as you remember these few words of wisdom, I would encourage everyone to experience The Vine on a Friday afternoon. Cheap wings, a fish special and $3 steins of Boulevard are on the menu well into the evening. It’s an exceptional institution–and please don’t let this story keep you thinking otherwise.